Growth takes commitment and discipline.
I’m coaching myself on being all in and taking massive action for growth this week. I’m at an exciting point of business development, creating greater value for my clients, but my mind for sure would like to pull back from the challenge and forget all about it. It longs for the status quo, even when that is unsatisfying. However, I remain intentional and don’t back off my goals. Resistance is a GO signal, not a stop sign.
How to get good at growth
The skill of creating intentional growth rests on the discipline to keep taking massive action towards our goal, no matter what. And when I say ‘no matter what’, I mean failure. Perseverance has to win out, because most people give up and take a rest from the ‘pressure’ they are creating to achieve their goal. They pre-fail.
Achieving anything new – going for promotion, upleveling leadership, starting a business, overcoming burnout, changing job – requires learning and experimentation. We start by setting a goal and conceiving who we will need to become to achieve it. There is a personal transformation required, otherwise we’d have already achieved the goal by now.
Discomfort of growth
In order to grow, we must repeatedly face discomfort. We will try and fail. We will slam in to the wall. When we fail, our negative self-talk can waylay us. We will doubt, fear, judge, procrastinate, worry, feel stupid.
- But what if fails were the fastest – the ONLY – path to success?
- What if fails were just lessons in disguise?
- What if any worthwhile success was at least 9/10ths failure?
- What if we were willing to work through fails, in order to reach our goal?
- What if we became failure-tolerant?
- What if fails didn’t mean anything bad about us?
- What if they signify courage, determination, purpose, tenacity, strength, adaptability?
- What if we in fact became failure resilient?
- What if we simply consume fails to get where we’re going?
In 2018 I was hit by a car while cycling. I’ve used this example before, because it taught me so many useful lessons – forgiveness, purpose, appreciation, helplessness and the willingness to accept help. It also increased my failure resilience.
I was pretty smashed up – lost the use of 3 limbs for a couple of months. I couldn’t sit up, reach out for my phone, go to the bathroom, shower or walk. Epic fail. But I could do one-arm pullups. I exercised lying in my hospital bed 3 times a day for 30 minutes. It felt AWFUL. I could barely move. I was weak and it hurt. But I persisted day after day. I created failure resilience for my future – to be able to walk again one day.
Failure resilience frees up our hidden potential
All the things we WOULD try if we weren’t afraid to fail just become all the things we CAN do.
Failure resilience is a superhero skill. With it, we can achieve ANYTHING. It’s transferable to any challenge in life.
In self-coaching, I believe the strongest meta-skills we can develop are commitment and discipline. With them we can conquer anything.
Fun of growth!
You know when you feel the urge to create or grow – personally, in business, in your career, sport or creative endeavours? Before you consider the downside, it seems like a terrific idea, eh?
That’s because it is!
As humans we are driven to evolve and create. Growth is a source of inspiration and reward that we feel kind of flat without. True?
The pleasure of creation is in the moment, it’s always with us, no matter how we go with our actual goal. It gives life meaning. So when you’re stagnating – is this giving satisfaction?
What change do you want, that you’re procrastinating on?
What are you scared of?
If your life is running a bit rough – why are you putting up with that?
Consider how long you’d like to stay unsatisfied.
Satisfaction comes from inside.
Just do it.
